Last night I couldn’t fall asleep.  There was a pressing conundrum wreaking havoc on my gray matter.  I tried to find the answers via google on the iphone, but all I found was more confusion?

My dilemma? Process?  In particular: Sigmoid and Xiphoid.  What are they?  Where are they?  What do you do with them?

The xiphoid process is easy enough to comprehend; it’s a part of the lower sternum that starts out cartilaginous and then is ossified by adulthood… Got it!

But sigmoid?  Here’s what I found: whale ear bone, mathmatical function, or the end portion of the colon. Wha-huh?  Now that’s an interesting batch of things sharing a name.

If I call you a “Sigmoid-face”  I could either be calling you mathmatical, cetaceous, or an anus… This could be fun…

Then, at about 1am, it occurred to me to look to the meaning of the word sigmoid itself: Sigmoid means resembling the lower-case Greek letter sigma or the Latin letter S.   Hence, the whale-ear-bone, math function, and the portion of the colon share the similar curving shape of the letter S.

Well, that’s not fun.  I don’t want to call you an “S” face… although that is an interesting mental image.

But you can bet your sweet bippy that I’ll be throwing around new threats:

She needs to be punched in the xiphoid process!

I’m gonna kick your sigmoid colon!

Your brain belongs alongside a sigmoid process! (wait, many whales and dolphins are said to have a high IQ, this may be an unintentional compliment.)

I’m glad that is settled.  Now to make up for lost sleep… after pondering the floccinaucinihilipilification of finninbruns.

~~Delaney (sigmoid face) Rhea




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