There is an emerging art form in the world of social networking… the art of… Vaguebooking.
The online Urban Dictionary defines vaguebooking as: “An intentionally vague Facebook status update, that prompts friends to ask what’s going on, or is possibly a cry for help.”
Everyone is Facebook friends with at least one vaguebooker extraordinaire. Most of us also occasionally dabble in the art; hoping that we are shrouding ourselves in mystery or are cleverly intriguing. The truth is that we are just annoying!
Vaguebooker: Praying! So devastated!
Okay, Here is where I get all panicky; is it your kids? Is it my kids? Is the sky falling? So help me, if it’s just that your newly planted Magnolia tree is dying I’m going to rip it out and beat you with it!
Vaguebooker: I can’t believe all the backstabbers!
In their defense, your vaguebooking makes me want to stab you too. I’ll go for your eye socket since your back is taken.
Vaguebooker: Blackness. Empty. Nothingness… this may be the end…
Listen Emo, the suicidal-depressive act went out with Depeche Mode. We’ve all got problems, and yours are about to get a lot bigger if I call 911 on you because of your suicidal ideation!
Vaguebooker: Purple, on the counter, with a donkey, in June, wearing boots.
All these cryptic Facebook status games that sound like a dirty version of the game Clue, but are actually an attempt to raise awareness for cancer, or hoarding, or whatever, were fun the first time, but quickly became annoying. Please nobody start one of those again. You might get stabbed in an eye socket too!
Exception to this rule: I do love a good game of name that song and artist, or add the next line. So let’s play:
“Words like violence, break the silence, come crashing in, into my little world…”