1. After a week of illness the Boy Child will gladly go back to school; the mom requires much more comfort and reassurance in the form of brownies, ice-cream, and no less than 3 dips into the peanut-butter.
2. When I slip into my “ugly cry” my dog will get up off the couch and move away from my wretchedness. No wonder they call them, ‘Man’s best friend.’ If they were ‘woman’s best friend’ he would have gotten up, but came back with chocolate and red wine; then let me blow my nose in his fur.
3. I actually just loathe Edward Cullen, not Robert Pattinson. It turns out he didn’t suck sweaty donkey nuggets in Water for Elephants. Don’t get me wrong, he’s still no Robert De Niro, but he didn’t look constipated every frame of the movie.
4. If a tree falls in the forest and no one is there to hear it does it still make a sound? I don’t care. Forests are filled with ticks and poison ivy. But I can tell you that even if I’m locked away from society for a week and no one is there to see… the hairs on my legs still grow. And now I have a leg forest and soon it will be filled with ticks and poison ivy. It’s to the point that any one of my leg hairs will make a sound when it falls. Buy ear plugs… they are going down tonight!
5. Rabbits will give birth in a potted plant. Oh you read that right. I have a BIG plant pot on my deck with my mint and lemon balm growing in it. I watched a rabbit run back and forth with mouthfulls of grass to said pot. When I went out to peek I discovered a grass tunnel built into this pot aside my herbs. Today its all covered back over. Me thinks that bunny-birthing went down last night! So, the question is: Would you still use the herbs considering that birthing happened under it? Will the alcohol in a mojito cover the flavor of afterbirth?