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The blog in which it is revealed that I’m a screamer…

One beautiful spring day I was caught up in the glory of watching my youngest run like the wind at a softball game.  I was so excited that I found myself screaming and hooting her name.  A friend (really, not snarky, a good friend, who was just teasing) said, “Oh, so you’re THAT mom.”  I had to pause and think about it.

In the past, I have been the snarky mom rolling my eyes at the parents who get all riled up and scream for their kids.  Why did that bother me, yet here I was doing the same?

At the age my first-born was playing baseball he hadn’t yet been diagnosed with a physical condition that was working against his little body.  He was slow, uncoordinated, and athletics was a challenge.  When I heard moms screaming for their sons, blazing their way through the bases, it clenched my heart.  I hadn’t had the opportunity to be that parent until my strong, swift, youngest gave me the chance.  I wasn’t thinking that my child was better than any others. (She spent more time playing in the dirt than playing the game.)  I was only basking in the glory of watching a child who had all the muscle strength, and connective tissue stability, to allow her to just be normal!

What an eye-opening experience!  You mean… those moms weren’t trying to make me feel bad about my son’s performance?  They weren’t even looking at him at all to know whether he was good, bad, or even breathing?  They were simply just caught up in the moment of loving their child?

Fast forward through several years of physical therapy and physical development.  My Boy-child isn’t the same kid he was years back.  He’s still uber lean, and as hyperflexible as a bendy straw, but he’s got more power and control.  He is easing back into sports.  This year he joined a basketball team… and damned if he isn’t good!  I was sitting through a game a few weeks ago and suddenly started hearing people shouting his name.  Say WHA?  Shut the front door!  He was the rebounding demon!  His arms were everywhere.  This week he had several assists, rebounds, and made his first basket! His team had a big win!   I was off the bleachers screaming!

Afterwards I felt like going to every parent and apologizing. “I’m sorry.  I’m not really an asshat.  My kid hasn’t really gotten to taste athletic victory before.  He has a mild physical disability.  He’s a miracle.  I’m sure your child dribbled crazy 8’s around him, I just wasn’t watching…” 

I realize though, that I don’t owe those parents the apology.  I owe the apology to the parents that I judged in my head.  I owe the apology to God, and the universe, for putting out negative energy where parents were just enjoying watching their own children have fun.

I’m a screamer.  And a hypocrite.  Can I get some salt to go with this big bowl of word salad that I now must eat as a peace offering to karma?

~~Delaney

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4 responses »

  1. It’s funny, the older I get the more often I have those moments. Mostly, I’ve been seeing teenagers doing the exact same things I did during my last years of high school, and I find myself wanting to beat them over the head. But then I realize….Oh lord, I’m that cranky woman at the back of the movie theater…. the one I once said “Obviously doesn’t remember what it’s like to be young.” I don’t know who I’m judging more, present day me or seventeen year old me, but it is a severely humbling experience.

    Anyways, wonderful post, and I am so glad about your son. Its wonderful to hear when the good guys win, and it sounds like he is winning. 🙂

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  2. Joyce Middleton

    What a heart warming post. You are lucky on so many levels. You are such a good mother because you take the time to not only figure out what you are feeling but understand too how your feelings and actions effect you and those you love. Your kids surely do benefit from your ability to see the joys in their successes and to understand that their good times and their not so good times are all part of the growing up process. Those times help them to find their likes and dislikes and to give them the motivation to try harder, practice and succeed. How a screaming mother can accomplish all this is just part of the miracle of motherhood. Enjoy it.

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  3. What a great experience. Good for you and good for Brandon.

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