It means there is always that one person who could be farting rainbows and you’ll hate the color. This person pisses you off simply by using the same oxygen supply you use. This is your “B.E.C.” I see this phenomenon everywhere: social circles, PTO, church organizations, etc. In any situations, there will be those who will find their B.E.C.
I’ve struggled through many periods of life where I’ve had, or have been, the B.E.C.
Here’s what I’ve learned. It’s not about the B.E.C., it’s about the V.T.V (Victim of Tunnel Vision!) It’s about getting caught in a cycle of living that is more suited for a gemologist- staring through a microscope looking for flaws – instead of looking up at the world and seeing all the imperfect beauty.
I can’t stop being someone’s B.E.C. I am a human just as fallible as the next. If you are looking at me through your microscope I will give you more than ample reason to hate and be annoyed by me. I promise. But if you look up, you will see that so does everyone else. It isn’t anyone’s responsibility but your own to choose through which lens you view the world around you. Everyone will look dirty through dirty lenses. If you wear a veil of bitterness and anger you can’t blame the world that you feel bitter and angry. I’ve tried that. It’s a short, unhappy, dead-end road to travel.
When I am in a frenzy over my B.E.C. and choose to take a step back, it turns out that usually the things that annoy me the most are my own bad habits reflected back to me through this person. I have to choose not to be the V.T.V. I have to choose to realize that if I am looking for flaws, there is no way that anyone stands a chance to win my approval. And, given the same situation in reverse, I, in turn, can not win yours.
Today, lets all step away from the microscope. If you are the V.T.V. take a minute to really think about the latest offenses of your B.E.C.. Did this person really commit a heinous crime? Or, are you just setting mental traps in anticipation of finding wrongdoing to blame on this person?
Today, lets all embrace being the B.E.C. and let go of the desire to win over our V.T.V. I have a promise for you: Some people’s approval you will never earn. You can kill yourself trying and they will laugh while you are dying. You might as well just live your life and make sure that you aren’t letting their tunnel vision cause you to stick your own face to the microscope.
Here’s a challenge: Think about your B.E.C. for the next few days really focus on stepping away from the microscope. Is this person really that bad? Is some of it the way you are filtering the situation? You may never have a lot in common with this B.E.C., and you may never want to be friends, but does this person really warrant or deserve this much of your life energy? How do you feel when you release some of your negative energy and decide that, friend or foe, you can focus on the good and let the bad gently flow away.
Let me know how it goes.