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The Unicorn Theory

Everyone loves unicorns.  At least, everyone with a soul.

Unicorns are magical. They poop rainbows. And they have a horn… to stab soulless people who don’t like them. Win win! I’ve been obsessed with unicorns since the days of Lisa Frank school supplies.  Unicorns are the unofficial mascot for awesomeness!

I’ve always wanted scientists to discover an actual unicorn on some remote island because I want a unicorn! Or, at least I want to see one.

But all I’ve ever seen are horses. It’s a let down and a disappointment. Horses are just so… plain. No horn. No magic. And their poop is definitely NOT rainbows.

There is one big thing that horses have that unicorns don’t have. Can you guess it?

REALITY!

How many times have you been disappointed by a horse because you were holding out for a unicorn? Or, worded differently, how many times have you been disappointed by reality because you were holding out for a fantasy?

I blame Disney and the media. Disney teaches young girls that they will fall in love with princes who are well dressed, can sing, will slay dragons, and love them without question (or personality) for eternity. Talk about a load of crap, and not even rainbow colored!

Commercials promise that everything from new cookware to a new toothbrush will change our lives for the better instantly. The diet industry has been working via the Unicorn Theory for decades! Eat more rainbow unicorn poop and you too will look like a supermodel!

We even look for unicorns with our friends and family. We aren’t happy with their time/attention/gifts/words/etc. because we were expecting a unicorn and all they gave us was a horse. Be honest, how many times have you placed unrealistic expectations on the people in your life and later got mad at them when they only gave you realistic actions?

Do you have hopes for outcomes of situations that are just too high and then you suffer when life hands you a big dose of reality?

Do you expect your friends to put your needs ahead of their own, or their family’s, on a regular basis and at your every whim? Even though that’s not exactly being a good friend on your part?

Are you so focused on your child getting all A’s that you are devastated by a C? Even though a C is an average grade?

Do you judge your own middle-aged, normal, body by the standards of Hollywood Stars? Even though you know that teams of professionals make a living by making the stars looks as good as they do?

Do you think your significant other should know your wants and needs without being told? And that it is his/her responsibility to make you feel happy, special and important? Even though feeling special and happy come from the inside and not even rainbow unicorn poop can change that if you can’t do it for yourself?

STOP!

There are no UNICORNS! There are also no pots of gold at the end of the poop rainbow, so stop searching for fantasy and start living in reality.

Horses are truly lovely. They are beautiful and majestic animals even though their poop is just brown and smelly.  You can live a happy and fulfilled life enjoying all of the many beautiful horses without pining away for an imaginary unicorn.

Sometimes all we need in life is to adjust our expectations to reality in order to stop the damaging cycle of constantly seeking something that doesn’t exist.

However, if you are expecting a horse and you are given a worn out half-dead ass, well then, pity party on my friend. Pity party on and make some changes, because that’s not good enough for you! Ain’t nobody got time for that!

Namaste,

Delaney Rhea

unicorn2

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