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That time I posted porn on the internet…

A few weeks back I was just chilling out on my deck, talking on the phone to a friend, looking out at our acreage and living my comfortable and predictable life.  I saw something up by our garage that just didn’t seem right.  Still on the phone, I wandered over to investigate.  There, half sticking out of a hole by the garage door, was a rather large and healthy black snake. Now, I’m not one to try to name snakes and make friends with them but I’m also not phobic so I put my gal-pal on speaker and snuck a few pictures of my slithering guest.

While I was still standing there I noticed a couple more black snakey heads pop out of the hole near the big one. Uh-oh! I don’t mind a snake just wandering through and stopping for a break, but I’m not sure I want a whole Duggar-style family pad right at my garage door.  I snapped a few more pictures and decided to look for a way to handle this situation.

Did you know that there are actual snake LOVERS out there who are more than happy to identify them and help out with information about relocating them safely? It’s awesome, and right there on social media.  I found such a group and posted my pictures and concerns.

Me: Hi, this big black snake is in a hole by our driveway and two smaller ones were poking their heads out. Nest? Should we relocate or leave alone?

Within minutes I got a reply.

Snake Guru #1: Western (Black) Rat Snake (Pantherophis obsoletus.)

Snake Guru #2: Snakes don’t nest. These are males since it’s breeding season.

Breeding season? I was thinking it was a mama black snake and her babies (silly non-snake person.) It was porn.  I posted snake porn! I’m a monster! 

Hangs head in shame.  

But really, who knew?

It’ll just share this ‘clean’ picture with you… well, as far as I know, who can tell what’s really happening in that Redlight District Hole by my house? 

Happy snake mating season! 

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