All the king’s horses and all the kings men couldn’t put Humpty together again. Much like the surgeon and all his men on my shattered ankle. It turns out that when you destroy your bones and shred your soft tissue, it can’t all be fixed in one surgery.
Yes, I recovered to the point of being able to walk. When I am well-rested I can almost walk without a limp. Once I’ve been up moving a while I walk like a drunk. When I’m not wearing good shoes with my custom orthotic I walk like a drunken Frankenstein!
As fun as it is to let people think I’m THAT mom who goes to the grocery store stumbling drunk at 9:00 in the morning, the constant pain hasn’t had the same comic relief effect, it’s been my personal hell.
After going to several specialists for opinions I relented to having another surgery in the hopes that I could gain even a slight increase in mobility and a decrease in pain.
Surgery is a very different experience when it is carefully planned in advance instead of being thrust upon you in a traumatic shit-show. This time I could clear my schedule, shop, clean, and make sure my leg was properly shaved and ready to be flayed. The only benefit of being ambushed by surgery is that you don’t have to dread it for weeks. Knowing that I was going to willingly have my ambulation taken away again for a few weeks was a big pill to swallow. Even though it’s been extremely painful to walk on this janky- ankle at least I could walk, it’s hard to go back to the walker/crutches/balance on one leg lifestyle.
Two days ago I underwent surgery to address damage that still existed in this mess of bones pretending to be an ankle. There were quite a few issues to be addressed: bone spur, scar tissue, and a large tear in my posterior tibial tendon. Also, since the ankle was already prepped it was decided that going ahead and taking out all the metal hardware would be best. All in all I had incisions on three sides of the ankle. It hurts every bit as terribly as you would imagine.
I’m back to zero weight bearing and spending most of the day with my toes elevated above my nose. It sure feels like I’ve gone back to square one. Fortunately this time everything was carefully planned and calculated. Recovery should be much quicker and more predictable. This time I know the tricks for using mobility aiding devices. This time I know how to maneuver from wheelchair to walker to toilet without drama. Believe you me, toilet drama is an added insult to injury that no one deserves. And this time I didn’t start out by spending four days writhing in pain and hallucinating while corked up on morphine. All things considered, this is just a normal, sucky, surgery recovery.
I’m praying this is the last ankle surgery for me. I’m praying I will have much less chronic pain after this heals. And I’m praying this horrendously unwanted chapter of life will really come to an end. In the meantime I am looking forward to playing Mario Kart through the aisles of Schnucks on the motorized scooters again soon!