That time I posted porn on the internet…

A few weeks back I was just chilling out on my deck, talking on the phone to a friend, looking out at our acreage and living my comfortable and predictable life.  I saw something up by our garage that just didn't seem right.  Still on the phone, I wandered over to investigate.  There, half sticking…

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Maybe you should pray for me…

When I was a little girl I thought prayer necessitated folded hands and kneeling bedside. The problem is that I was smart enough to know that monsters live under the bed, so I knew that kneeling next to the bed was just asking for it; prayers or not! Not much later in life I imagined…

The Unicorn Theory

Everyone loves unicorns.  At least, everyone with a soul. Unicorns are magical. They poop rainbows. And they have a horn... to stab soulless people who don't like them. Win win! I've been obsessed with unicorns since the days of Lisa Frank school supplies.  Unicorns are the unofficial mascot for awesomeness! I've always wanted scientists to…

Letter to Ed Sheeran

Dear Ed Sheeran, You don't know me.  You should, but that's not the point right now.  I 've been enjoying your song, "Don't" on the radio.  Here's what I've learned: DON'T f*** with Ed Sheeran.  He will write a song about it that will make you writhe in agony over your sins.  Writhe.  Agony.  But, since…

Excuse me while I remove this Tupperware from my mouth…

This is a very unofficial guide to Invisalign.  So, you think you'd like straight teeth?  You have crowding that makes it hard to floss and painful to eat foods that get caught?  You don't want the unsightly look of train tracks across your smile?  There is another way!  Invisalign. But, before you start, I'd like…

Blog don’t fail me now…

When have you absolutely, totally, and completely failed in life?  Have you ever really contemplated those failures? Yesterday my daughter auditioned for a place in the school special choir.   Do I think she'll make it?  Not really.  There were way more kids auditioning than there were spots.  Yes, she has a sweet little voice, but it has it's…

Things I wish I could say to my kids… but don’t… not yet…

One of the best quotes I've ever come across was on a crafty little handmade sign in a vintage/resale/upcycle shop that read, "Raising children is like being pecked to death by chickens." It's only funny because it's true. Being in the trenches, day after day, hour after hour, with these little pecking chickens can push…